Being still – prayer

 

I’m about to embark on a period of prayer along with a number of other people from my church as we are holding a 24-7 prayer week. That means a specific place has been set aside and every hour, for the next 7 days, someone will hopefully be there, praying, worshipping God and interceding for others.

I was very excited about this event when I first heard that someone in the church was interested in prayer and wanting to encourage people to pray.

You see, in another life, I was part of another prayer initiative – the Lydia Fellowship International. This is a prayer organisation for women worldwide. Women gather in small groups on a regular basis to commit their time to God, to worship him then seek his guidance and pray accordingly for whomever or whatever situation they feel God is speaking to them about. I learnt so much from that time.

Due to personal circumstances, I had to come away from all that but, also, the desire to meet with others and pray didn’t seem strong where I live.

Now, it appears that prayer is very much on the agenda again.

And yet, as I ready myself – I’ll begin my slot in 11 hours time – I am torn between the excited anticipation of this time and a slowly growing disquiet in me. You see, it’s one thing to pray on one’s own for a while but I can’t say I’ve prayed solidly for an hour on my own for a very long time. It’s more like I’ve prayed, then done something else, then come back to it.

I won’t be in my own home but will be getting up whilst most are still asleep, driving to the church and then I’m alone in this room with God for an hour. It’s rather daunting.

I realise that I don’t like to stay still before God for long. Why is that? Well, honesty compels me to say that if I am still before Him, I may just hear from Him.

What will He say? What if He doesn’t say anything? What if He shows me the rotten heart I know deep down that I have? What if I’m made to face my faults? What if? What if? what if?

The heart naturally rebels at the thought of being alone with God because it recognises that communication with a holy God is about to take place. There is a challenge in that. But this is not a balanced view.

It is true that God wants us to come to Him with clean hands and a pure heart (Psalm 24:3-5) . It is true that He will discipline us because He treats us as sons (Hebrews 12:5-7). But similarly He wants to spend time with us because He loves us and wants to fill us with that love, with His Spirit. He wants to give us understanding, share His desires, His longings with us. It’s about relationship.

If we were constantly on the move, never pausing to really talk, to really listen, we would never have close friendships, good marriages, strong family relationships.
It’s that being still, listening then responding to what we’ve heard that enables us to grow closer to others. This is only a shadow of what it’s meant to be like having a relationship with God.

So I’m resolving that tomorrow morning, in the wee small hours, I’m not going to fear being still before God. I’m going to embrace it and him.

Surely any opportunity to get closer to God, to know Him more and to become more like His son is worth temporary discomfort, is worth the doubts and fears.

I have heard of a saying “do it anyway”. That is what I am going to do. I’m not a shining example of what a Christian is meant to be. Far from it! I’m a horror and only God’s grace allows me to continue to call him Father. But I am going to offer Him this less than perfect life, with its less than perfect thoughts and behaviour and see if, in the being still, I can grow closer to Him.

Do it anyway!

Praying for our leaders

Where I live, this little rock I’m on, we are holding elections for the governing body, the officials who will make decisions for the future of our island.

I’m ashamed to admit I have never voted until this year although I have had the ability to vote since I was 18 years old, some XX years ago.

Why, do you ask? Lack of knowledge, apathy and just because I felt I had better things to do with my time. I know, how wrong is that. But fact of the matter is I’m not alone in my generation or in subsequent generations.

One argument I and others used was that what was the point in using a vote when it didn’t matter who was voted in, they always said what you wanted to hear around election time and then did what they wanted, once elected. I’m sure that was the case on a number of occasions.

But there is a wise saying by Edmund Burke ” All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing”. I’m not sure he meant politics and similarly, I’m not sure all politicians are necessarily bad however the point can be made that if we do not use our vote wisely and pray, always pray, for the current officials, for those candidates standing during elections, then surely God can’t be pleased.

He wants us to pray for our leaders. It’s there in the bible.

1 Tim 2:1-4
 1 I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone— 2 for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. 3 This is good, and pleases God our Savior, 4 who wants all people to be saved and to come to knowledge of the truth.

Having made my vote, I sat in a cafe reflecting on my first time taking this important step. I was using a bible app and opened it and there were the Timothy verses above. I felt a pretty strong conviction that I have neglected this instruction.
Funny thing is, the Church of England, that traditional denomination that Evangelicals love to bash for being dead or dying, they pray for the Queen and her government daily. Interesting, huh?

It’s in the collect to pray for “Elizabeth, our Queen” and parliament. So when we are being all self-righteous, where are our prayers for our leaders? I point that finger at myself.

Similarly, do we pray regularly for our church leadership, the pastors, the elders, leaders of housegroups, prayer groups, outreach etc, not just when someone is about to bring the word at a Sunday service? Again, I had a similar conviction about that earlier this year.

I want to change this, I want to pray for our civic and church leaders who must carry the burden of government upon their shoulders, being responsible for people’s welfare, souls.

Perhaps this needs to be addressed more in schools and churches, encouraging the young to be more active in both voting and supporting officials, both in prayer and practically, where possible.

It’s a thought. I’d like to see churches urged to support in this way particularly.

Let the change begin with me, how I pray, how I act towards them.
Now that’s a challenge!

What are you made for?

 

God impressed on me back in January the importance of His Word for me this year (and obviously all the years of my life – it’s that important). It was about knowing His Word, letting its truth change me, hearing the truth instead of listening to what my feelings tell me, what my circumstances may say but that His truth is just that – THE truth ( and nothing but the truth). The Truth will set you free! John 8:32″ Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free”.

There are many things we may believe as truth but, in His light, are shown up for the falsehoods they are. Those falsehoods, wrong impressions, outright lies sometimes, can cause a person to act a certain way, respond to circumstances a certain way that isn’t how God planned for them to. It’s like acting out of character, God’s character for them/you/me.

There are a few things that God’s Word is showing me, that I’m reading and praying through, trying to let the truth of it change me, transform my mind so I become more like the woman He created me to be. Romans 12: 2

The three things are
* God’s love for me – eternal, never-changing, unconditional – Romans 5:8
* God’s truth has the power to set me free – John 8:32
* The joy of the Lord is my strength. Joy is found in Him, regardless of how I feel or what is going on around me. Nehemiah 8:10b

I have been held prisoner by the thought that God’s love is conditional and, in spite of my 30+ years of being born again, I still struggle to this day. “Does He really love me even when I screw up?”then trying desperately to be perfect so He’ll accept me. Crazy!  There is that constant battle of insecurity which is responsible for me making some dumb decisions.

I’ll let other people’s words, said some time ago to me, about me or over me, become a truth and then act that way, think that way, feel that way. There’s the pressure to react, as “normal society” would, in specific circumstances or pressure to act a certain way because of a person close to me.

Then there is the loss of joy, of letting everything around me dictate how I approach life, approach other people, approach God even. Being ruled by one’s emotions can be very wearing – it’s also pretty wearing for others who have to witness this in me!

BUT there is hope.
God’s Word which is the truth, the ultimate truth, says that God does love unconditionally, that I can trust this and believe it. That truth is eternal and does not change. I need to let that truth change me.

Believing that truth has enormous power in the life of a believer. Declaring it aloud is powerful, praying it is powerful and I’m starting to get a grip on this (yes, I know, 30+ years and I’m just getting with the programme. I’m not the sharpest tool in the box – some of God’s kids are slow coaches!).

The latest change has been for me to begin studying the bible daily. I’ve never been very good at this but have begun to consistently use a certain time to read either from different devotionals which have me turning to the Bible to check what they are saying, to see what God is saying to me about my life, about Himself and about my relationship with Him.

Today, in following this study, the devotional directed me to ask a question of God concerning joy in a desperate circumstance which I did.

God’s response was incredible. It pretty much encapsulates what God has been talking about.

I was reminded of the verse “The joy of the Lord is my strength” Nehemiah 8:10b

Then He said “Choosing joy instead of worry is a sign of trust in Me. Choosing joy gives you faith that I will see you through, choosing joy increases faith for My intervention. Choosing joy points your attention at Me.  Choosing joy allows Me to work through your circumstances to change you, deepen our relationship. Choose joy. I made you for joy.”

This isn’t the first time God has mentioned me being made for joy, I’ve heard that from Him before directly and through others. That joy isn’t just there for me but for me to reach out to others with.

But God speaking this into my life this morning just pulled together all the strands for me. This was the Word of the Lord, combined with the Word of God (the Bible) reaching out to me in truth and giving me the option for transformation of life through that truth and surely there is joy in that!

There is freedom in the truth and there is strength in His joy which gives a person the opportunity for transformation.

More Lord, I want more of Your truth and to have a heart that is filled with Your joy so I can be transformed.

Do you want to stay the same? A statement of intent.

It is clear to me, following my post at the start of the year, that 2012 is a year of change, of transformation, a year for potential growth. This all sounds really exciting and some of it is. Aspects of it are scary because there are unknown elements to taking up the challenge of change.

But there is also a decision or even decisions to be made. God gives us the opportunity for change, for transformation, He even allows events to occur which can bring about the change but we have to choose to take it and to trust Him in it.

I have a number of opportunities and challenges facing me this year. Some have been placed infront of me as a fait accompli, others are ones I am either thinking about or have even signed up to.

I am taking a professional exam this year so that I can gain knowledge in my field and also be recognised for meeting an industry standard. It’s quite daunting and out of my comfort zone. I tend to get freaked out by exams. But I know this is the right and sensible thing to do.

Similarly, I want to take care of my body, get fitter, be in the best condition I can be for my age so I am signed up to a fitness camp and undertaking a short-term nutritional and exercise routine. It requires commitment and determination to see the results I hope to achieve.

Similarly, due to an event that happened at the end of last year, I could be facing an uncertain future with regard to finances, home and maybe even whether I will end up moving to another location. Even in this, God is giving me an opportunity to trust Him and let Him lead me through this uncertain time.

But also there is the opportunity for change in my faith, how I believe, what I believe, changing thought patterns, changing habits, getting free of mindsets that have held me back in my faith walk for so long.

As with all of the above, the opportunities for amazing transformations and development are there. It’s exciting,scary and exhilarating all at the same time.

But I have to make a choice with all of those events – will I commit to them? Will I allow myself to be changed by them? Will I trust my tutor to give me all the information I need to pass my exam & will I study hard? Will I stick to the nutritional routine and exercises to see the maximum positive affect on my body? Will I trust God, read His Word, believe it and let it change my life, my outlook? Will I let God set me free?

The question facing me at the beginning of this year is “Do you want to stay the same or do you want to be transformed?”

My answer is “Even though I’m a little anxious, let’s do it.”

Life is for living to the full in all areas. It’s time to step out of the comfort zone. I’m trusting God to help me make those changes, to walk with me through the hard stuff so that I can reach the end of 2012 and say “Wow, what a year that was, look what God has done in me.” I want to be closer to Him, live more for him, enjoy life more and make the most of this precious time.

Years ago, I was given a scripture by a friend which seems to be my Rhema word for my life and it keeps echoing in my heart and mind -

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”

Jeremiah 29:11

I’m looking to him for that hope, that plan for good, for my future. God gives good things to His children,. I’m looking to Him for this.

2012 – what’s new?

Firstly a very Happy New Year to all. I hope that your Christmas and New Year celebrations were enjoyable.

As I’m sure some of you have don, I’ve been reflecting on the past year. I came to the marvellous conclusion that 2011 was a year of great favour and blessings. I was the receipient of so many good things and it was with joy that I was able to look back and be thankful for them.

Now I don’t normally do New Year events well, tending to be rather anxious either to get the past year over with or nervous about the coming one. For me, this New year’s eve, I was sad to see the end of a wonderful year, filled with special memories, of times with friends and family.

But what of this new year? How do I feel about 2012? Honesty drives me to say that, yes, I am a little anxious.

But what do I do with that anxiety?

Recently I’ve felt that God wants me to lean on him so much more this coming year (as he would anyway, in fairness) and especially to recognise his word as truth. I am not great with bible-reading and have never read it all the way through as I know every Christian should. I have always struggled with it, largely due to my lack of discipline. Bible reading is a challenge for me so this is an interesting development. Time to grow up and grow in that area, I think.

I do feel that by reading God’s word and allowing its truth to flow through my life, through my circumstances, my emotions and actions, it will see me carried through this year’s challenges and brought closer to God as a result.

In these times of economic uncertainty, with wars and rumours of wars, with the ongoing breakdown of society, it is more important than ever to let the truth of God’s word wash over us, give us that sure foundation and to help us to not only just keep going but will allow us to also reach out to those around us.

In thinking these things, my attention was drawn today to something that, in light of the above, gave me pause for thought.

My husband bought me a beautiful ring for Christmas and inscribed on it are the words “my choice”.

It struck me that it’s pretty apt because it most certainly is my choice as to whether I continue to ”agree” with the anxious thoughts concerning this new year, letting that build into fear and unbelief, or whether I instead choose to listen to God’s leading and settle down to read the bible and let God’s truth light my path for me through 2012.

What is God saying to you for 2012?

 

 

When you need to be a child

Sometimes, when you are frightened for the future, when you feel that you just can’t get it right, when you feel hopeless about everything, when you’re just sad and you don’t know why, when you feel competely lost in your life – it’s then that you need to crawl onto the lap of the Father. Be a little child, go to Daddy and seek his Love and comfort.

I was listening to some worship music as I made some deliveries that I do every two months. It’s been a busy day, there is stuff going on that I’m not proud of my reactions to, there is other stuff that is in the offing that I have no control over. I know my walk of faith is pretty rubbish at present. But I had been fine on the outside, perhaps I’d pushed everything down. But outwardly, I felt fine in myself.

Then the worship songs began to melt my heart and I found myself close to tears as I walked. It was all I could do to maintain calm so that passersby didn’t think I was some deranged idiot.

I suddenly had this mental image of God calling to me and me turning and running, climbing up into his lap weeping “Daddy, I’m so lost” and God pulling me into his arms and weeping with me, comforting me but feeling my hurt, shame, guilt and sadness. It was such a powerful image and I will pursue this but I also felt God say that this is something others need to know.

Stop being so tough. Run to your Daddy. Climb into his lap and let him comfort you. If you need to cry, do so. If not, just let him hold you and cuddle you. He wants to hold you close and give you strength to continue.

I think lots of people right now are feeling the pressures of life – be it from family, finances, worries of the future. I know I am. But I think this is bigger than just me.

So at this time, can I pass this invite from God our Father on to you, dear reader. Please go to him. He wants to cuddle you.

Let him!

Those people!

 

Come on, ‘fess up. All of us, and I mean ALL of us, have come across people who just seem to press our buttons – either knowingly or unknowingly.

It can be something as simple as a habit of their that grates on our nerves. Or perhaps it is a personality clash, they don’t think the way we do, they don’t seem to agree with us on anything or they find a way to make us feel bad about ourselves or perhaps that we don’t perform well in a certain area.

We try hard to be nice to them, we pray for them and ask God why this person is in our life to bring us down.

If we are completely honest, we will sometimes rant inside ourselves about how much they irritate us. We may even be tempted, and give in to, talking about our difficulties with this person to other people but, rather than seeking positive support in the form of prayer and perhaps godly wisdom in how to deal with the relationship, instead we bad-mouth that person.

So you may have guessed by now that I am going through this very situation. I usually write my posts based on either what God is saying to me through either things I’ve read, experienced or heard and have pressed upon me.

I am sadly guilty as charged of all the above, bar the positive action of asking for prayer and seeking godly wisdom from others. Only recently, I was advised that something had been muttered about a recent situation and I suspected (but had no proof!) that this person was involved and would be adding to the issue as it is known that she isn’t fond of me either. Without pausing for breath, I told the informer that I suspected my “nemesis” was involved and even went so far as to state my dislike of her! Such was my anger at the event being recounted and my strong inclination that she is involved that I allowed my emotions to sweep me into making this statement.

Since then, every time I look at her, I can feel shame creeping into me and guilt, swiftly followed by the childlike response of “it’s not fair, this is her fault etc” like a small child in a playground spat.

She may never like me, she may never be a friend but firstly she is made in the image of God and loved by him and important to him. Whilst I may not agree with her actions towards me and others, I do not have the right to judge her. That is God’s right alone.

I wonder at why these kind of people are put in my path. It seems somewhat unfair when everything else is going so well in my life that this fly should appear in my ointment.

But then God just blew my mind away when He posed the question, “so who are you making feel this way? Who finds you an impossible person to get along with?, Who’s “fly” are you?”!

That has kinda stopped me in my tracks. We like to believe that we probably don’t have that effect on people. But it is more than possible that we are the challenge in someone else’s life. How would that make me feel, to know that I cause someone upset, anger and sometimes guilt and shame? I wouldn’t like it, it’s that simple.

I don’t have an easy answer to this. I know that I will pray for God to help me with this lady, for patience, to give me his love for her and to see her through his eyes. I also know that, short of a miracle, I will more than likely get annoyed at her again sometime soon and feel all those horrid feelings. But I will also try to bear in mind that perhaps somewhere there is someone thinking the very same with regard to me so that also requires me to temper my behaviour. It’s a bit of a wake-up call really.

But the key is persistence. If I truly want to be changed in heart and mind so I begin to look like Jesus, then I need to keep going back to God and asking for this help. These people will always be around, if we move on with one, another will take their place, because God uses them to change us.

Just being real, folks.